What are executive function skills?

First, what are executive function skills? The Harvard Center for the Developing Child says “executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Just as an air traffic control system at a busy airport safely manages the arrivals and departures of many aircraft on multiple runways, the brain needs this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses.”

I love this definition and the analogy they use with air traffic controllers. It’s a great way to think about how we use these essential skills every day.

Executive function skills are bucketed into three categories:

• Working Memory – the ability to hold information for following instructions, planning, organizing, etc.
• Cognitive or Flexible Thinking – this is the ability to think about things in more than one way and is important for problem solving
• Inhibitory or Self Control – this includes the ability to pay attention and resist distractions and/or temptations

Some specific executive function skills include:

• Impulse control
• Emotional control
• Planning
• Task initiation and completion
• Organizing
• Self-monitoring
• Prioritizing
• Perseverance
• Time management

How do you determine which executive function skills your autistic child lacks?

How can you determine which executive function skills your child or teen with autism and ADHD lacks? Observing their behavior or struggles in school can help most parents, caregivers or teachers fairly easily identify which of these skills a child or teen lacks.

When determining my son J’s executive function skills level (and my own as his parent), I liked the assessment that was included in the “Smart but Scattered Teens: The “Executive Skills” Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential” book (affiliate link). It helps you determine what are your teen’s strengths and weaknesses when it comes to executive function skills. It also helps you rank them as which ones are the most prevalent. This can help you determine how you can best help your child.

I also learned from the book that if one of your strengths in executive function skills is one of your child’s or teen’s biggest weaknesses, then you probably are not the best person to help your child improve that one. It’s best to seek help from others to help your child.

Ways the lack of executive function skills are holding back your child with autism and ADHD

Lacking these essential skills in life can affect your autistic/ADHD child or teen in many ways. These can include:

1. Impact to relationships

If your child has difficulty controlling their emotions and impulsivity, their relationships will suffer because you as a parent, other relatives, teachers, peers, friends and others can grow frustrated over time at the repeat of the same issues related to these. Lack of these executive function skills can greatly and negatively impact their relationships with many people in their lives.

2.  Ability to master life skills

Life skills that require planning, organizing, task initiation/completion, prioritization and more can be greatly affected by the lack of executive function skills. That could include money management, career development, household management, health care management, meal planning and more. Improving these important skills in life can help set your child or teen up for success as an adult.

3. Competence in school

Lack of executive function skills such as the ability to pay attention, working memory, time management and self-monitoring can affect your autistic child or teen’s ability to do well in school. If you help your child/teen improve some of these skills, they will be able to learn better at school.

4. Low self-esteem

The lack of executive function skills can make your child or teen think less of themselves because they struggle so much in school, home, extracurricular activities and relationships. This results in low self-esteem and decreased confidence in their own abilities.

5. Problem-solving capabilities

Not being able to be flexible and adaptable in their thinking may limit your autistic child or teen’s problem-solving capabilities. Helping them improve their executive function skills can really help them see things differently and understand others’ perspectives to better solve problems and issues.

How to help your child improve their executive function skills

While the lack of executive function skills can significantly affect your autistic/ADHD child or teen, the good news is that these skills can be improved! I have written many blog posts about improving different areas of executive function skills. To help your child or teen, read these posts for tips and steps you can take to help them.

• 4 ways to help your ADHD child with impulse control
• 12 ways to help your child with autism and ADHD improve executive function
• 14 ways to teach an autistic and ADHD child self-regulation
• 9 tips to teach your autistic and ADHD child or teen organization skills
• 4 ways to educate your autistic and ADHD child about perspective taking
• “Smart but Scattered Teens” helps parents collaborate with their autistic and ADHD teens to improve executive function skills
• 5 ways to help your autistic and ADHD child develop emotional control
• 8 ways to help your child with ADHD focus when bored or disinterested
• How to help your child with ADHD overcome procrastination
• 10 ways to help your autistic and ADHD child improve their working memory

What ways have you helped your child with autism and ADHD improve their executive function skills? Leave a comment below so that we can share and encourage each other on this journey!

Additional resources

Do you want to find out more about executive function skills and how to help your autistic/ADHD child or teen improve theirs? Take a look at these resources.

Executive Functioning Workbook for Kids: 40 Fun Activities to Build Memory, Flexible Thinking, and Self-Control Skills at Home, in School, and Beyond (affiliate link)

Executive Functioning Superpowers: Inclusive Strategies that Embrace Neurodiversity at Home and in the Classroom. Helping Kids Stay Calm, Get Organized and Achieve Success (affiliate link)

The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens: Help for Unprepared, Late, and Scattered Teens (affiliate link)

Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential (affiliate link)

Executive Functioning Skills for Teens: Super Easy to Use Strategies, Games, Tools, and Activities That Work! Help Your Kids Get Organized, Improve Focus, Self Confidence, and Life Skills (affiliate link)

The post 5 ways the lack of executive function skills are holding back your child with autism and ADHD appeared first on Autism & ADHD Connection.

Autistic adult statistics

• As of 2014, about 1 percent of the people in the world are on the autism spectrum, or about 3.5 million.¹ (Note: With the latest prevalence numbers growing significantly in the U.S. alone, I think this number is probably higher and will be looking for an updated statistic in the future.)
• Throughout the next decade, about 50,000 adolescents each year will transition to adulthood and will no longer be eligible for autism services through school systems.²
• The lifetime cost for a person with autism is about $2.4 million in the United States (2014).³
• About a third of adults with autism are non-verbal, or minimally verbal, which means they do not speak or have significant speech impairment.⁴
• Most of autism’s costs in the United States are for adult treatment and services, estimated between $175 and $196 billion a year. That is compared to $61 to $66 billion per year for children.⁵ 

• More than a fourth of adults with autism suffer from depression.⁶
• More than 50 percent of adults with autism are unemployed and not enrolled in vocational school or college within two years after high school, which is a lower rate than other disabled adults, including those with an intellectual disability or speech-language impairment.⁷
• Almost 50 percent of 25-year-olds with autism have never had a paying job.⁸
• Research shows that job responsibilities that foster independence decrease symptoms and expand a person with autism’s daily living skills.⁹ 
• Adults with autism generally have one of three living arrangements: independent living, community housing or family/caregiver housing.

What can we do to improve these statistics for our autistic children as they become adults?

So how can you improve the odds that your autistic child can live the best life they can as an adult? I have asked myself that question over the years as my son J has gotten older and just recently turned 18 years old. Some of these statistics are just what they are and cannot be changed. However, increasing the chances that your child or teen may be able to obtain the education they need to be gainfully employed and live a more independent life could be something you can influence, depending on their capabilities.

Here are some things you can do to help:

• Ensure you are obtaining all the education support you can for your child during their school years. You may need to advocate heavily for your child during the Individualized Education Plan meetings but do your research and insist on leaving nothing out that your child has a right to receive.
• Begin transition services in late middle school to ensure your teen receives everything they need from school as they look to life after high school.
• Teach your teen essential life skills. What are the most important ones? See my blog post on this topic.
• Help your teen learn self-advocacy skills. Being able to self-advocate is so important as adults.
• Make sure your teen knows how to manage money to the best of their ability. Check out my Kids Money Skills series that provides six easy lessons to help you teach your teen about all the major aspects of money management.
• Line up volunteer activities for your teen. Not only does this bring personal satisfaction and benefits, but it’s a great way to get experience for their first part-time job.
• Contact your local Vocational Rehabilitation office to see if your teen is eligible for job coaching and employment services. Our son worked with a job coach through VR to find his first part-time job during high school.
• Start preparing for post-secondary education early if you think your autistic child will one day be able to go to college or trade school. Read this post to find out the steps you can start taking today.
• Help your autistic teen or young adult obtain the accommodations they need to be successful if they are going to college or trade school. Find out more in this post.
• Prepare for your child’s future by making sure your family finances are in good shape and that you take steps to secure your and your child’s future. Check out my “Autism and Your Family Finances” book for a roadmap to help you.

Taking the time to prepare your autistic child for the transition to adulthood and continuing to support them through their young adult years could make a big difference in outcomes as they become an adult. Do you have an autistic young adult? What has been your learning? Leave a comment so that we can share and encourage each other on this journey.

Additional resources

Want more information about this topic? Check out these resources.

The Breakaway: A Parent’s Guide to Transitioning the Autistic and Twice Exceptional Adolescent Into Young Adulthood (affiliate link)

Life Journey Through Autism: A Guide for Transition to Adulthood (affiliate link)

The ASD Independence Workbook: Transition Skills for Teens and Young Adults with Autism (affiliate link)

Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent’s Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders (affiliate link)

References:

1. Autism Society, retrieved from https://www.autism-society.org/what-is/facts-and-statistics/.

2. Autism Speaks, retrieved from https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-statistics.

3. Feinberg, E., Augustyn, M, Fitzgerald, E. et al. (2014). Improving Maternal Mental Health After a Child’s Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder: Results from a Randomized Clinical Trial. JAMA Pediatrics. 168(1):40-46.

4. Tager-flusberg H, Kasari C. Minimally verbal school-aged children with autism spectrum disorder: the neglected end of the spectrum. Autism Res. 2013;6(6):468-78. doi:10.1002/aur.1329.

5. Autism Speaks, retrieved from https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-statistics.

6. Ibid

7. Ibid

8. Ibid

9. Ibid

The post <strong>Autistic children grow up to be autistic adults – some statistics can be daunting</strong> appeared first on Autism & ADHD Connection.

The statistics for autistic adults are worrisome

I admit that whenever I look at the statistics for autistic adults, I worry whether my son J will fit them. Autism is a broad spectrum of capabilities. For some autistic adults, they go to college or other post-secondary education, hold good jobs, buy their homes, marry, have children and live what society would call a more “normal” life. (Yes, I know – normal is a setting on a dryer 😊 But you know what I mean.) For others, they have a more severe form of autism and will never be able to live independently. Then there are so many who fall somewhere in between.

So what are the statistics for what life is like for autistic adults and the transition from teens to adults? Autism Speaks has done a lot of research in this area. Here are some numbers they’ve published:

• “Over the next decade, an estimated 707,000 to 1,116,000 teens (70,700 to 111,600 each year) will enter adulthood and age out of school based autism services.
• Teens with autism receive healthcare transition services half as often as those with other special healthcare needs. Young people whose autism is coupled with associated medical problems are even less likely to receive transition support.
• Many young adults with autism do not receive any healthcare for years after they stop seeing a pediatrician.
• More than half of young adults with autism remain unemployed and unenrolled in higher education in the two years after high school. This is a lower rate than that of young adults in other disability categories, including learning disabilities, intellectual disability or speech-language impairment.
• Of the nearly 18,000 people with autism who used state-funded vocational rehabilitation programs in 2014, only 60 percent left the program with a job. Of these, 80 percent worked part-time at a median weekly rate of $160, putting them well below the poverty level.
• Nearly half of 25-year-olds with autism have never held a paying job.
• Research demonstrates that job activities that encourage independence reduce autism symptoms and increase daily living skills.”

Transition from teen to adult

Right now, we are going through helping our son J transition to adulthood. He is a senior in high school, and it is a balancing act of pushing him and letting him take on more responsibility. It’s difficult because he has a lot of his own fear of becoming an adult. There is so much adulting that needs to be learned, and it can seem overwhelming for our autistic teens and us as parents. As parents, this plays into our fear of our autistic child becoming an adult.

From a school perspective, transition planning should take place during the middle school (or junior high) through high school years. It’s an important piece of the overall picture because they can help your teen think through potential careers and education paths after high school, whether that is a trade school, apprenticeship, community college, four-year university or other education.

As parents, we need to think through life skills that we need to teach our autistic teen. There are so many they must learn – money management, self-care, self-advocacy, organization skills, household maintenance, and so much more. For the most important life skills to concentrate on teaching your teen, see this blog post.

We have so many questions about what life will be like for our autistic child when they become adult, and we fear there are so few answers. We ask:

• Will my teen be able to successfully complete post-secondary education?
• Will my young autistic adult be able to find and keep a job?
• Where will my child live when they are an adult? Will I need to continue supporting them and for how long?
• How will my child manage their affairs when they are an adult?
• What will happen when I am no longer able to help my child when they are an adult?

Take action to conquer your fear of your autistic child becoming an adult

These and other questions swirl around in our minds. At least, I know they do mine. They have become louder and come more often as my son J has gotten older. Yet, I couldn’t bury my head in the sand and do nothing. I’ve had to face them to be able to overcome them. I feel better today than I did even a year ago. There are still a lot of unanswered questions, but there always will be. I can only control what I can control.

So what has helped me better manage my fear of my autistic child becoming an adult? I’m sharing what has helped me with the hope that it can help you too. Try one, a few or all of these. They also may spark some other ideas for you.

1. Be active in planning for your child’s future

As parents of autistic children, we are often overwhelmed in the moment with all of the things. Therapy appointments, schoolwork, behavior challenges, routines and more. We put off thinking about the transition our children will go through as they near adulthood. Yet, it’s not too early to start actively planning. Pay close attention to what steps your child’s school is taking with transition planning and ensure the right activities are added to their individualized education plan. You also can use my Life Vision Workbook to start thinking about and planning for your child’s future. It’s free, and you can update it each year as your child grows and learns more about their skills and interests.

2. Don’t underestimate your teen’s abilities

As daunting as the autistic adult statistics are, I don’t have to accept that those will be true for my son. Every year, he gains more maturity and skills. I have to focus on what he may be able to accomplish and plan toward that. Yes, it means I still need to be realistic about different scenarios that aren’t as good (see more below), but I am planning for a better life for him.

3. Encourage your teen to dream about their future and take steps toward making those a reality

What is your teen’s special interest? Is it something they could pursue as a future career? What can you do to encourage that pursuit? For our son J, his special interest is music. He also scores high on career tests for wanting to help others. As we talked about future careers tying those together, becoming a music therapist seems like it could be a good fit.

J was a music therapy participant himself, receiving those services for three years. He had to write a career exploration paper for his English class during his junior year of high school, so he learned a lot more about it. This year, music therapy is the focus of his senior capstone project. He had a music therapist as his mentor for the project, and he was able to job shadow for two days.

Since his grades aren’t quite good enough to go directly into the local four-year university that offers a music therapy program, he will start at a community college near us to complete the core classes needed and get his grades up. In addition, starting at this very small community college campus I think also sets him up better for a successful transition to college.

Think about what steps you can take to encourage your autistic teen to dream about their future and how you can enable next steps toward making it a reality.

4. Prepare for legal and financial needs

When your teen turns 18 years old, they are considered the legal age of an adult. That means they are technically in charge of their own health care, financial and other affairs. Yet, for most of our autistic teens, they still need a lot of help. That is why you need to take steps to at least put into place the paperwork needed to help them.

A few months before our son J turned 18, we met with a special needs lawyer who was recommended by some friends as well is listed on the Special Needs Alliance directory. He was so helpful to us to recommend the paperwork we needed in place for J, along with updates to our estate planning documents. Right after he turned 18, J signed his HIPAA release form to allow my husband and me to continue managing his health care. He also signed a power of attorney so that we can help with legal and financial matters if he cannot do so himself.

In addition, our lawyer was able to set up our family trust so that if J’s portion needs to be adapted to a special needs trust, it can easily be set up that way. If he doesn’t need a special needs trust, then his portion will act as a regular trust. We still have a lot of questions about whether J will be able to support himself independently. This option allows us to feel like he will be taken care of either way.

You also will need to think through whether supported decision-making is appropriate for your autistic teen when they become an adult or if legal guardianship and conservatorship may be needed for your young adult.

5. Concentrate on the most important life skills your teen still needs to learn to be independent

Adulting is a lot of work, and we need to be sure our teens are ready to take on those responsibilities. Yet, we don’t want to overload them all at once. Therefore, look at some of the most important things you need to teach your teen now and concentrate on those.

For my son J, here are the skills we are focused on at the moment:

• Learning to drive. He finished the online course for driving education, and we are studying and preparing him for the permit test. Once he has his learner’s permit, then I can enroll him a local behind-the-wheel driving course with an instructor. Because he is 18, he has to obtain his learner’s permit first.
• Managing his money. J has had a part -time job on weekends for almost a year now. He has checking and saving accounts. We also set him up with his own budget on our You Need a Budget account (referral link). Learning how to manage his own money takes time and practice. It also means making mistakes and learning from those.
• Improving his study habits. Unfortunately, his study habits still aren’t great, but we are making some progress. He has a great plan we created based on his ideas from research we did together. The more he can learn before he graduates from high school, the better for him as he enters community college.
• Increasing his cooking skills. Cooking is truly an essential life skill. He is great with microwaving food and preparing his own simple meals. Now we need to focus on helping him to make some basic meals using the stove, oven and crockpot.
• Doing his own laundry. We recently decided that both of our boys needed to be responsible for their own laundry. They now each have their own laundry basket in their closet, and they are accountable for washing, drying, folding and putting up their own laundry each week. They’ve had a lot of experience with putting laundry in the washer and dryer, but it’s the folding they both need more practice to master.

6. Determine what help your teen or you need during the transition

During this transition time, your autistic teen should still have access to quite a few resources through their school, Medicaid autism waiver and Vocational Rehabilitation. Take advantage of every opportunity for help with their transition.

Be sure your autistic teen starts working during high school. They may qualify for your local Vocational Rehabilitation program and obtain a job coach. Learn about our experiences in this blog post.

Seek out the help from an autism transition coach if you need and can afford it. I talked to a coach, and we decided it wasn’t the right step for J. However, she gave me some wonderful guidance for him as immediate actions. For this summer, I’ve applied for him to attend the College Internship Program in a city near us. This was a program she highly recommended. I’m hopeful that he will be accepted. While it is pricier than I anticipated, it will be worth the dollars if he can gain valuable independent skills and build some friendships during this two weeks next summer. I never would have known this program existed if I had not reached out for help.

In addition, J has joined the Young Adult Connection program offered by our local Autism Community Connection. This is a program that allows him to develop friendships with other autistic young adults in our community and learn valuable life skills. Another important factor for him is that he will continue in this program after high school. That is one thing I’m focused on this year too – activities he can begin now and continue after high school graduation.

7. Think through best to worst case scenarios

As I noted before, we cannot put our heads in the sand and ignore the realities of having an autistic young adult. All those questions we have? It’s best to think about the best to worst scenarios so that we can prepare for whichever outcome our child will have when they become an adult. I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about these. I’m shooting for the best outcome but know that we need to be prepared when/if things don’t go as planned. How do we pivot as things change for the better or worse? What can we do to continue to support our children as needed to help them live the best lives of which they are capable?

8. Understand the launch into adulthood will take longer for your autistic child

We have to understand that our autistic young adults will most likely not have a typical launch into adulthood – either in steps or timing. Be realistic and flexible when it comes to the path and how long it will take for your autistic young adult to fully be on their own. Or if they won’t be able to live independently, how much can they do for themselves? Help them to be as independent as they are able and make as many of their own decisions as they can.

9. Accept that your child will be their own adult and will want to make their own decisions

I think this one is tough for all parents but especially for those of us with autistic children. We’ve dedicated our lives to supporting and helping them at high levels. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that they will be their own persons with their own hopes, dreams and decisions. Remember that it is their life they need to lead – not the one you choose for them.

10. Remember to take care of yourself

You are no good to anyone else if you do not take care of yourself. You know the safety guidance on planes – put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. If you aren’t in good mental and physical health, you cannot effectively help your child.

11. Talk to parents of autistic young adults

Do you know parents of autistic young adults? If so, then talk to them. I am lucky to know several parents who are further along this journey, so I have been able to ask them about their experiences. Their stories and learning have been so valuable to me. I also don’t feel alone in this endeavor. Ask them how they conquered their own fear of their autistic child becoming an adult.

12.  Learn to let go when the time comes

Every parent needs to learn when to let go when the time comes. It is true for those of us with our autistic children too. I know for those with children who have more severe autism, this will look different. And I acknowledge we always will champion and worry about our children no matter what age they are. That is the way of parenting, especially when we have been so involved in every aspect of our children’s lives.

In addition to facing our own fears, I know that our autistic teens are dealing with a lot of fear themselves about becoming adults. That’s going to have to be another blog post 😉 Right now, you can take steps to overcome your own fear of your autistic child becoming an adult.

Additional Resources

Do you need to dive deeper into this topic to assist your autistic teen through the transition to adulthood? If so, here are some suggested resources for you.

The ASD Independence Workbook: Transition Skills for Teens and Young Adults with Autism (affiliate link)

The Autism Transition Guide: Planning the Journey from School to Adult Life (affiliate link)

The Autism Full Employment Act: The Next Stage of Jobs for Adults with Autism, ADHD, and Other Learning and Mental Health Differences (affiliate link)

Preparing for Life: The Complete Guide for Transitioning to Adulthood for Those with Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome (affiliate link)

What have you done to address your fear of your autistic child becoming an adult? Leave a comment to share and encourage others on this journey!

The post <strong>How to conquer your fear of your autistic child becoming an adult</strong> appeared first on Autism & ADHD Connection.

As a reminder, we are using the book ““I Want More Pizza: Real World Money Skills For High School, College, And Beyond” (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder for these lessons. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance, and I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for J, my son with autism and ADHD, to learn about money.

Lesson #6: Understanding Debt

Read the “4th Slice” (pages 65-76) of “I Want More Pizza” (affiliate link) with your teenager. I found it is best to let your teen read it on their own before the lesson. You can read it aloud together, but you may want to break it up into two sessions.

Debt takeaways to share with your autistic teen

• Debt is when you borrow money from a bank, family member, friend or any other organization or person. It is also referred to as a loan or credit.
• Debt comes with two risks:
  • The first is that you have pay interest on the amount of money borrowed as you pay it back.
  • The second is that you risk overspending, or spending above your means. (Meaning you consistently spend more money than you have in cash. This is generally called living beyond your means.)
• Too many people make bad decisions with debt, especially credit cards.
• Credit cards can be a convenient way to pay for stuff and track your expenses, however, you have to pay the full balance every month. If you are responsible with a credit card that has a low balance limit, it can be a good way to build credit.
• Paying for stuff with a credit card and then not paying the full balance due each month can be a financial disaster for many people. That is because the interest on credit cards is very high! (Steve provides a great real-world example on page 69 – be sure to study the chart.) Paying only the minimum due each month leads to your debt building and paying potentially thousands dollars more in interest payments.
• Debt can be good if you have a mortgage to pay for a home. At reasonable amounts and interest rates, student loans can be helpful in paying for a college education. (Although you should try for as many scholarships and other types of financial assistance before resorting to student loans. Even then, using savings and having a part-time job to cover as much as the cost as possible is preferable!)

Debt and credit discussion tips with your autistic teen

• Talk about how to use a credit card responsibly. Ask your teen how they could manage their credit card usage to avoid building up debt.
• Discuss the risks of debt and why it’s best to avoid it as much as they can by saving up for purchases and looking for other ways to pay for something (e.g., scholarships for college instead of a student loan).
• If your teen is planning for college, make a plan to search and apply for scholarships on a regular basis during their junior and senior years. Did you know there are college scholarships specifically for students with autism? The CollegScholarships.org website is a good place to start. Also, some autism grants also aid with college costs. Be sure to research local scholarship opportunities as well.

Practical Money Activity

Use this credit card payoff calculator from Bankrate to find out how long it would take to eliminate different credit card balances.

The post Kids Money Skills, Lesson 6: Help your autistic teen understand debt and its potential for negative consequences appeared first on Autism & ADHD Connection.

As a reminder, we are using the book “I Want More Pizza: Real World Money Skills For High School, College, And Beyond” (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder for these lessons. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance. I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for J, my son with autism and ADHD, to learn about money.

Check out the first four lessons of this series:

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 1: Why autistic teens should learn about personal finance

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 2: Encourage a positive money mindset in your autistic teen

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 3: Teach your autistic teen how to set money goals and prioritize their spending

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 4: Learning how to budget and save sets your autistic teen up for future financial success

Lesson #5: The importance of compound interest

Read the “3^rd Slice” (pages 43-59) of “I Want More Pizza” (affiliate link) with your teenager. This section is quite long. I found it is best to let your teen read it on their own before the lesson.

Savings and Investments Basics for your teen

• There are several basic investments that can be used to save or invest money. They include:
  • Savings account – an account at a bank, credit union or brokerage firm where you can deposit money and earn a little bit of interest each month.
  • Certificate of Deposit (CD) – an account that is similar to a savings account, but you let the bank keep your money for a certain number of months. CDs pay a higher interest rate than a savings account.
  • U.S treasury bonds – bonds enable you to loan the U.S. government an amount of money for a certain length of time. The government pays you interest for the loan. (Businesses do this too with bonds that you can purchase individually or through bond mutual funds.)
  • Stocks – these are individual shares of a company that you can buy. Stocks are the riskiest of the investments. Yet, they also bring the greatest reward and can grow your money the most. Depending on what type of stock you purchase, your risk may be moderate to high.
  • Mutual funds – these are “portfolios” of stocks or bonds that you can purchase and are professionally managed by a financial expert. Because the fund has a variety of stocks, bonds or other types of investments, they are called “diversified.” This means that many mutual funds are less risky overall than purchasing individual stocks.

Takeaways to share with your teen

• These accounts grow your money because the bank (or mutual fund company, government, etc.) pays you interest for giving them access to your money. Interest in the amount of money they pay you each month. They usually give you a percentage they will pay you, called an interest rate.
• Savings and investment accounts come with different levels of risk. The safest are savings accounts, which are federally protected and insured up to $250,000 per depositor per insured bank. That means that if something bad happens to a bank, your money is backed by the government for this amount. CDs and bonds are then the next less risky, with mutual funds and stocks being riskiest.
• Investing in stock and mutual funds may sound scary, but the rewards are worth the risk to grow your money over time. The important thing is to learn to manage your risk. Putting all your money in one stock is the riskiest investment you can make. However, if you spread your money out over different stocks, mutual funds, bonds, CDs and savings accounts, you diversify your investments and reduce your overall risk while achieving a greater reward of growth for your money.
• Investing your money long term will grow it over time through “magic” called compound interest. Investopedia defines compound interest as “the interest on a loan or deposit calculated based on both the initial principal and the accumulated interest from previous periods.” That means that over time, you are earning money on the original amount you invested but also the additional money that accumulates from more money you deposit plus all the interest you earn over time. (See the tables that Steve shares on pages 53 -55.)
• As Steve notes, compound interest is your BFF when it comes to growing your money!
• The younger you begin to save and invest, the more time your money has to grow and the more wealth you will build throughout your life!

Savings discussion tips with your teen

• What are your feelings about risk when it comes to money? Does risking your money for reward and growth scare or excite you? Try this risk calculator to help you determine your level of risk tolerance.
• How can you best manage your risk for your savings and investing?
• Do you understand compound interest? How can it help you build your money over time?

Practical Money Activity

Use this online calculator from Nerd Wallet to see how money grows through the magic of compound interest!

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As a reminder, we are using the book “I Want More Pizza: Real World Money Skills For High School, College, And Beyond” (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder for these lessons. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance, and I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for J, my son with autism and ADHD, to learn about money.

Check out the first three lessons of this series:

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 1: Why autistic teens should learn about personal finance

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 2: Encourage a positive money mindset in your autistic teen

Kids Money Skills, Lesson 3: Teach your autistic teen how to set money goals and prioritize their spending

Lesson #4: Basic budgeting and the importance of savings

Read the “2^nd Slice” (pages 27-37) of “I Want More Pizza” (affiliate link) with your teenager. This section is quite long, so I found out it is best to let your teen read it on their own before the lesson.

Saving and budget takeaways to share with your autistic teen

• The opening quote from Warren Buffet really sums it up: “Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving. If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell the things you need.”
• It is important to understand the reasons to save money. Sometimes, people save money in one area to buy something nicer in another area. Saving money for unexpected expenses is always smart. In addition, saving to grow your money over time is what leads to secure finances and the ability to build wealth in retirement accounts, save for college, put a down payment on a house or be able to take your dream vacation one day.
• Everyone can save money, no matter how much they make. It may be just $1 to start, but every little bit grows over time. When teenagers first begin working, they don’t make much money. However, it’s important to put a little money away in a savings account from each paycheck to put toward savings goals.
• One easy way to save is to do it automatically, or what Steve refers to as an “auto-saver.” Your teen will need two bank accounts – a savings account and checking account. Once they are earning a consistent income from jobs (e.g., part-time job, lawn mowing, babysitting, etc.), then they can set up an automatic transfer from their checking to their savings account once a month. This allows them to save automatically instead of making the manual transfer every month.
• It’s important to know how we spend each dollar, so tracking expenses is really important. Your teen can write down the money they’ve spent in a small notebook or use a budgeting app like You Need a Budget (referral link), which is my favorite and what my boys will use once they have a regular part-time job.
• Once your teen has been tracking expenses for a month or so, they will see that small purchases really add up and make better decisions on how they want to spend their money. They can then make their first budget!

Discussion tips with your teen

• Discuss why it is so important to have savings and how you would worry about paying for unexpected expenses or being able to afford something if you didn’t have any savings.
• Talk about checking and savings accounts and their unique functions. Then discuss how your teen can set up an auto-saver for their money. That could be done either now or in the future when they have a regular part-time job and income). How much money could they start saving each month? Even $5 or $10 will add up over time.
• How does your teen spend their money? Discuss how small purchases really add up and whether they are moving them toward or away from their savings goals.
• Plan a time for Lesson 5.

Practical Money Activity

Find a small notebook (or purchase one if necessary) and have your teen write down their expenses for a month. They will have a better understand of how they are spending their money. Then your autistic teen can develop their first budget based on their learning.

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As a reminder, we are using the book I Want More Pizza: Real World Money Skills For High School, College, And Beyond (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance, and I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for autistic son J.

Lesson #3: Setting money goals and prioritizing spending

Read Slice #1 (pages 15-21) of I Want More Pizza (affiliate link) with your teenager (either out loud or individually before the lesson).

Takeaways to share with your teen

• Steve underscores the importance of people, especially teenagers, understanding personal finance.
• He discusses the importance of determining what your money goals are so that you know what you are working toward.
• Prioritization of your expenses is key to understanding how you spend your money. This helps you make mindful decisions about what you will spend per month on different items. This is called budgeting.
  • He gives a great example of saving for a new digital tablet. If you choose not to spend $5 on coffee five times per month and instead drink coffee from home, then you can save $25 per month toward your tablet. Then that $25 per month will add up over time. That allows you to achieve your goal of buying a new tablet.

Discussion money tips with your autistic teen

• Show them the prioritized list on page 10 and talk about what their priorities are for saving, spending and giving. What would be important to them? How would they prioritize their own lists?
• Do the practical money activity below and ask your teen to determine their own money goals.
• Plan a time for Lesson 4.

Practical Money Activity

Ask your teen to determine their top three money goals. Give them a sheet of paper and have them write them down. Do they want to save for a car or find ways to help save for their college? Do they want to be able to pay for their own clothes or start a Roth individual retirement account (IRA) with some money from their part-time job?

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As a reminder, we are using the book I Want More Pizza: Real World Money Skills For High School, College, And Beyond  (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance, and I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for my autistic teen J to learn about money.

If you missed Kids Money Skills, Lesson 1, you could always start with it first and come back to this second lesson.

Lesson #2: Helping your autistic teen develop a positive money mindset

Read the introduction (pages 5-12) of I Want More Pizza (affiliate link) with your teenager (either out loud or individually before the lesson).

Takeaways to share with your teen

• Earning money through babysitting, lawn mowing, or part-time jobs is great, but you need to learn how to make the most of that money.
• One of things you’ll learn in these lessons is the importance of saving money and seeing how it can grow over time. Steve provides a good example. If you save $25 each month, then that is $300 per year. If you continue to do that for 40 years, you will have $12,000. And that is without something called compound interest that would make it grow even more! (Don’t worry – we will talk about that later.)
• It’s important to understand that personal finance is “a set of tools that make it easier for you to keep your hard-earned money and to make it grow as quickly as possible.”
• Even though personal finance provides tools, money is emotional. So understanding your emotions and being able to overcome mental blocks can help you have a better relationship with money and make it work for you.
  • Many people deal with money stress. Steve notes about 70 percent of Americans indicate they are stressed about money (according to the American Psychological Association.)
  • Many people talk negatively to themselves and others about money. They put up blocks like “I don’t make enough money for that,” “I’m young: I’ll do it later,” and “I can’t understand it.”
  • Increasing your knowledge about finance will help you have a positive money mindset and avoid the excuses that are mental blocks.

Discussion tips about money with your autistic teen

• Ask them what worries they have about money now and how do they think those cause mental blocks.
• Talk about your own money mindset and how you’ve had to overcome your own mental blocks when it came to money – even if you are still working on it!
• Ask your teen to describe what they think a positive money mindset is and what they can do to have this type of mindset.
• Plan a time for Lesson 3.

Practical Money Activity: Practice giving back change

Being able to count change is a practical money skill that not only will help your autistic teen with their own money but also a valuable skill for when they begin a part-time job. Many jobs that our teens have during high school and even college include accepting payment for services. When cash is paid, then they need to know how to calculate and provide change back to the customer!

For this activity, you will need:

• A calculator
• Small bills such as $1 and $5
• Coins (whatever you have on hand. We have a coin jar, so I use that.)

This activity is simple:

• Separate the coins into piles of pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.
• Provide your teen with a few dollar bills.
• Give your teen a price that something costs that you are “paying” for and give them some cash. (For example, I’m “buying” something for $2.63, and I hand my son a $5 bill.)
• Have them use the calculator to determine how much change you are owed and then have them count out the change to give back to you.
• Repeat several times with different amounts to allow them to practice calculating and giving back change.

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Therefore, I’m going to share the financial literacy lessons that I’ve been teaching my own teenagers, including my son J who has autism and ADHD.

We are using the book “I Want More Pizza” (affiliate link) by Steve Burkholder. Steve is a certified public accountant and has worked in the finance department in higher education. He has a passion for teaching teens and young adults about personal finance. I found his book a few years ago when looking for a good resource for J to learn about money.

Lesson #1: Why autistic teens should learn about money

Autism is a spectrum, so our teens will have variable abilities and capabilities to manage money. However, I am a big believer in teaching children and teenagers to handle their personal finances to the best of their abilities. The more they can learn about money, the more independent they can be.

This is a great place to start with many autistic teens (or any teenagers or older children really) to teach them about money. See the lesson below.

Read the preface of “I Want More Pizza” (affiliate link) with your teenager

Takeaways to share with your teen:

• Steve shares his personal story. He talked about working part-time jobs in high school and college. He shared how his mom opened a “Christmas” savings account for him. He was required to save half of the money he made in his savings account.
• Saving half his money taught him the importance of saving money, and he managed to accumulate $5,000 in his account by the end of high school.
• Steve shares he was looking for ways to earn more money. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of investing in the stock market without understanding it or how to properly choose which stocks to invest.
• He discusses how everyone faces financial difficulties. It could be credit card debt, student loans, low income from low-paying jobs or other money problems.
• His hope is that by reading his book, teens and young adults will learn about personal finance and not make as many mistakes with money.

Money discussion tips with your autistic teen:

• Share your personal finance story with your teen. Talk about the types of jobs you had when you were younger. Discuss how you learned about money. You may even confess if you still have a lot to learn, and you both can learn together!
• If your teen has a savings account, take it out and discuss the purpose of it, the current balance and how to increase their savings.
• Ask your teen what they hope to learn most about money.
• Plan a time for Lesson 2.

The post Kids Money Skills, Lesson 1: Why autistic teens should learn about personal finance appeared first on Autism & ADHD Connection.

What are the most common treatments for autism and ADHD?

Our kids on the spectrum may face several challenges. Those can include communication, social situations, emotional control, lack of executive function skills, sensory issues and more. Therapies and treatments are available to help them learn to cope or overcome them. Some of the most common ones are below.

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)

ABA therapists work with a child to adapt their behavior to their environment, mostly home and school. They can help the child improve their language, communication and social skills. In addition, ABA therapists assist in decreasing problem behaviors as well as improve school performance, social skills and attention spans.

Art Therapy

Art therapy focuses on using to art to help autistic people access their emotions, learn how to process the world around them and even help develop life skills.

The American Art Therapy Association notes on their website that “art therapy is an integrative mental health and human services profession that enriches the lives of individuals, families, and communities through active art-making, creative process, applied psychological theory, and human experience within a psychotherapeutic relationship. Art therapy, facilitated by a professional art therapist, effectively supports personal and relational treatment goals as well as community concerns. Art therapy is used to improve cognitive and sensorimotor functions, foster self-esteem and self-awareness, cultivate emotional resilience, promote insight, enhance social skills, reduce and resolve conflicts and distress, and advance societal and ecological change.”

Cognitive Behavior Therapy

For cognitive behavior therapy, a clinical therapist works with the child to better understand their feelings and behaviors. The therapist helps the child understand the “why” behind them. They also can help them rethink their response and learn how to better manage situations in the future. Social skills groups can be a great addition to one-to-one sessions with a therapist. Cognitive behavior therapy also is incredibly important if your child is also dealing with depression, anxiety or another mental health condition.

Hippotherapy (or Equine Therapy)

So how can riding horses help your child? The American Hippotherapy Association defines hippotherapy (or more casually known as equine (horse) therapy) as “how occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech-language pathology professionals use evidence-based practice and clinical reasoning in the purposeful manipulation of equine movement as a therapy tool to engage sensory, neuromotor and cognitive systems to promote functional outcomes. Best practice dictates that occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech-language pathology professionals integrate hippotherapy into the patient’s plan of care, along with other therapy tools and/or strategies.”

Medications

Deciding to use medications for treatment of autism and especially ADHD can be emotional for parents. You should work closely with your child’s doctor to understand the potential benefits and risks of each medicine. For more information about deciding whether or not to use medication as an ADHD treatment for your child, read this blog post.

Music Therapy

If you are not familiar with music therapy, you may wonder what it is. The definition from the American Music Therapy Association describes it as, “Music Therapy is the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program. It is a well-established allied health profession that uses music therapeutically to address behavioral, social, psychological, communicative, physical, sensory-motor, and/or cognitive functioning.”

Music therapists create individual goals and plans for each child based on what skills need to be improved for an optimum quality of life. My son J participated in music therapy for about four years and really loved it. In fact, he wants to become a music therapist himself as a career.

Nutritional Therapy

Some autistic people are affected by gluten, dairy and other foods or additives. In addition, many deal with sensory issues regarding food. We deal with this with our son J and also his lack of appetite due to his ADHD medication. A dietitian can help your child by creating an eating plan to ensure they are receiving adequate nutrition in their diets. Your child’s clinical therapist may also assist with behaviors related to eating.

Occupational Therapy

The American Occupational Therapy Association defines occupational therapy as “the only profession that helps people across the lifespan to do the things they want and need to do through the therapeutic use of daily activities (occupations). Occupational therapy practitioners enable people of all ages to live life to its fullest by helping them promote health, and prevent—or live better with—injury, illness, or disability.”

Occupational therapy can help children with autism in a number of ways such as:

• Increasing attention span
• Developing gross motor skills for activities such as riding a bike
• Enhancing fine motor skills to improve handwriting and holding/using objects like scissors
• Improving daily personal skills like brushing teeth or helping with toilet training
• Increasing body awareness to better understand personal space
• Integrating sensory therapy to improve sensitivities to sound, balance and body position
• Developing visual skills for reading and writing
• Improving coping and problem solving skills
• Increasing communication and social skills

Physical Therapy

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines physical therapy as “therapy for the preservation, enhancement, or restoration of movement and physical function impaired or threatened by disease, injury, or disability that utilizes therapeutic exercise, physical modalities (such as massage and electrotherapy), assistive devices, and patient education and training.”

You usually hear about physical therapy after an injury, so how can it help those with autism?

• It can help build muscles to help improve balance, coordination, strength and posture.
• Physical therapy helps to increase motor skill ability in children with autism.
• It supports better behavior and mood with the release of endorphins during therapy sessions.

Recreational Therapy

According to the National Council for Therapeutic Recreation Certification, recreational therapy “is a systematic process that utilizes recreation and other activity-based interventions to address the assessed needs of individuals with illnesses and/or disabling conditions, as a means to psychological and physical health, recovery and well-being.

The purpose of the RT process is to improve or maintain physical, cognitive, social, emotional and spiritual functioning in order to facilitate full participation in life. Services are provided or directly supervised by a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist.”

Speech Therapy

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines speech therapy as the “therapeutic treatment of impairments and disorders of speech, voice, language, communication, and swallowing.” One common trait of autism is difficulty with communication. That can include speech delays, literal use of language, difficulty understanding non-verbal communication, inability to speak, and communication social skills deficiencies. Speech therapists can help the child:

• Develop and implement treatment plans for verbal skills by helping the child to improve spoken language, strengthen muscles, and speak more clearly.
• Work on non-verbal skills by helping them understand body language and facial expressions as well as learning how to use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices and tools.
• Learn social skills such as start and keep conversations going, improve social communications, respond to questions, and understand social rules related to communication.

How do I decide which treatments are best for my child?

With so many therapies and treatments available, how do you decide which ones are best for your child with autism and ADHD? You have only so much time and money. Therefore, you want to choose the ones that will be the most effective.

First, you should think through your child’s biggest challenges. Those are the things you want to focus on first. Also, what are your child’s interest and which therapies do you think will be the most effective for them? Once you have the list, talk to your child’s primary care physician to determine the best way forward.

You also want to understand which therapies are covered by your medical insurance. It’s best to know the extent of that coverage, especially in-network verses out-of-network providers, benefit limitations, etc. It’s also good to touch base and ask the special services director at your child’s school about which therapies or programs are offered by the school system. That can be a huge time and cost savings since your child would receive those services during the school day. Finally, do you have your state’s Medicaid waiver for your child? That can cover some treatments like music and recreational therapy that your health insurance does not. It’s a long wait but the sooner you apply, the better.

Our experience choosing treatments

I wish this was any easy process, but some of it includes trial and error to determine what best fits your child.

Here is a list of treatments that we decided on for our son J over the years:

• Occupational therapy – J had ultra-sensitive hearing that was causing him distress, plus he was very clumsy and off balance much of the time. He saw an occupational therapist for about six or seven months, and these issues improved greatly. He still has sensitivity with his hearing, but it’s not nearly as strong as it was before therapy.
• Cognitive behavior therapy – J began seeing his current clinical therapist when he was seven years old. She has been such a lifesaver to our family over the past decade. Not only has she helped J through so much, but she has trained us a parents to help him too. In addition to 1:1 sessions, she had him participate in a social skills group over a summer. We are still in touch with some of the parents and kids from that group!
• Speech therapy – J received social skills and communication help from the speech therapist at school all through elementary school. This is definitely one of the best treatments he received!
• Medication – J sees a psychiatrist who oversees his medications for ADHD, depression and sleep issues. It was a difficult decision to make, but the benefits he receives is definitely worth any risks.
• Music therapy – J participated in music therapy for several years before his music therapist moved out of state. This was probably his favorite treatment, and he would have kept going even longer. He really bonded with his music therapist and decided not to re-enroll to work with someone else. His music therapy was covered by his Medicaid waiver.
• Nutrition counseling – We are starting some sessions with a dietitian this month to make the most of the nutrition when he will eat. He does not want to eat for much of the day because his stimulant medication for ADHD suppresses his appetite. He unfortunately has lost a lot of weight, and his doctor switched him back to a medicine that isn’t quite as bad as the one he has been taking. (Which was so effective in helping his focus and attention, but the not eating downside is just too much.) We hope we can optimize his nutrition with the food he does eat to make sure he is getting enough nutrients and calories.

Once you decide on treatments, don’t hesitate to discontinue if you don’t see benefit from it. You also may need to change therapists or providers if you don’t think they are the right fit for your child.

What treatments or therapies have been the best ones for your child with autism and ADHD? What advice do you have for parents about choosing treatments? Leave a comment so that we can share and encourage each other along this journey.

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